Sunday, 1 June 2014


Most days I'm thankful... some days I'm over it. Today I'm over it.

I know I'm only 2 months in and I've still got a long road ahead of me but sometimes you can't help but feel a little disheartened and a little bit down. I know last week I said that I thought I was coming into a break... Nope, it was just me having a good day. Was just all part of this never ending cycle.

I had my first feeling of wishing I was normal looking so I could go out and have a bit of fun on Friday night... Don't know why Friday. I don't think anyone was doing anything special. I was just home by myself cooking dinner because my sister and partner were late home from work. And I was a bit lonely and just had a bit of a gutted feeling. I would have loved to put on a pair of heels and go out and before all this, that is exactly what I would have done!

Today I'm just sitting in my office watching the rain come down outside and feeling over waiting. Waiting for my skin to get better. Waiting for my skin to get worse. Waiting for the itching to stop and the flakes to stop falling. I really hope that I can stop waiting soon.

Pics for this week...

Love the way fluff sticks to oozy spots... not.

All I ever wanted was just to be normal... and now I look like I'm 28 going on 68 with far to much botox, bald spots and sun burn. I know I shouldn't be complaining because there are heaps of others out there who have been and are in a far worse state than me. I guess everyone just has good days and bad days now and then and I must say it is hard to stay positive all the time and believe that this will all go away one day and I will eventually be 'healed', but most of the time the thought of having smooth skin again is the only thing keeping me going so I will just keep thinking about that smooth skin.

In the meantime I want to try and be a bit more proactive again in speeding up this process and I am looking in to ordering some bentonite clay as recommended by a fellow TSW comrade so I can start doing clay masks and I am also going to see if I can get a referral for doing light therapy or just find a place that has a good sunbed with UVB and give this a go also. 

Fingers crossed for a better mood tomorrow. 

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