7 WEEKS

Firstly, my arms and neck are not great, but not bad. No oozing just a few scratches and grazes here and there and just really dry, atrophic and ashy looking. I think my arms and hands are going to take a long time to get back to normal looking skin, they still don't really produce any oil either even though I haven't used moisturiser on my arms since Dec last year, it never hurts, but I can often feel the skin pulling when I move.

Secondly, at the moment I think my face might be coming into a break, just because since the last couple of pics I put up 3 days ago my face has been improving and hasn't really gone into the down hill part of the cycle yet.

Its annoying how my camera puts that sort of yellow light on!

My skin is a tiny bit more red against white than what it looks like in the bottom pic.

Thirdly, seeing as my face has been improving a little bit, I have been trying to get a bit of sun on my cheeks for 10 mins each day for the last couple days. Its getting into winter down here and really cold! So I won't be able to get any other parts of me out in the sun just yet but I'll probably look into hitting up the solarium in a few months when the weather really packs in. I used to love going to the sun beds in the winter and getting to feel like it was summer even if it was just for 10 minutes.

Fourthly, I went to the gym with my partner on Sunday... for the first time in like forever. It was weird and I felt pretty self conscious, but when I got into it it was a lot of fun. I didn't sweat any... I must get my body to work on this. Maybe visit a sauna and MAKE it sweat. And the parts that are most achy from the work out e.g. back of arms, top of thighs and shoulder/chest area, I have noticed an increase in itch and it feels soooo good to scratch down hard on those achy muscles! I don't rip the skin or anything because I usually only ever use my rubber comb to scratch, but it just feels like a really good deep tissue massage as well as scratching that darn itch! I'm not going to make it into a regular thing just yet because I've been struggling to do much of anything these past couple days I've been so sore, but once I feel my energy levels picking up a bit I will definitely get back into it.

Lastly, I am going to start making Kombucha tea (a fermented, probiotic drink), not really because I think it will speed up my heeling or whatever, just because a friend of mine gave me a "mother" and a jar of pre-brewed tea to get me started, also because I'm almost out of my probiotic capsules and if this can save me $30 a month then I'm all for it :)

Today I had my first glass, it tasted alright, kind of fruity, but I think I may have left it slightly to long as it has a bit of a vinegary after-taste which I don't mind to much as I have Apple Cider Vinegar and honey every morning anyway haha.

Another week done and dusted... 2 months next week! Crazy how fast time goes when you look back on something... but how slow time seems to go when you look forward to something...

47 days and still plodding along

Ive started to notice that my face is in this continual faze of cycling really quickly. I think the only reason I've started to notice is the cycle veeeeeery is slowly getting longer. Instead of just being constantly flaking and peeling all the time the cycles are starting to grow to include dry skin flaking, rubbing, peeling off skin, to revel not quite ready baby skin underneath... and then the cycle repeats. Its still inflamed and thick mind you but some days just feel a lot smoother than others.

This is me DAY 45... skin inflamed and what not, but smooth.

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This is me this morning... and I'd almost place a bet on my 

skin being back to day 45 by tomorrow or the next day.

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Heres my neck that has also been a bit oozy for the first time as well.

Think my tattoo is going to need a bit of touching up after this! Haha

I also managed to dig up a couple of old pics from last time I was unknowingly going through TSW 5 years ago (May - Oct/Nov 2009). It was at the tail end of it when we had decided to go on holiday to Rarotonga in September '09 as we both thought that my 'eczema' was stress related and I just needed a good couple weeks off to chill out. I was still using the Elidel daily so my face wasn't affected and I'm pretty sure that I was probably using really mild steroids by now also so this is definitely not the worst of it.

Me asleep with my bandages on. 

I do remember having terrible insomnia last time also.

Love this picture apart from the fact I look purplish and if you zoom in you can 

sort of see slighty see red sleeves around my thumbs. I so badly wish I knew 

then what I know now. If only I could rewind the clock.

6 WEEKS

Um so this week I don't have to much to report… other than since stopping the glutathione I haven't had any weird mood swings or over the top anxiety this week which has been nice.

I had a big day yesterday… probably the biggest day since I started all this. My partner and I drove to Auckland (2.5hrs one way) and back to buy a new ute. Seeing as we are back in NZ for good we wanted to get a good car that doesn't break down all the time and require constant maintenance and since I don't actually need a car at the moment we wanted to get one really good one… so back to the story. We got up early… he drove down to Auckland… we test drove the ute… had to go find a bank to get a bank cheque… had to arrange insurance while we were at the car yard as we hadn't thought to arrange insurance before hand (dough) … ended up ringing 3 different providers as they were all soooo expensive (here is where I got a bit stressed and shaky, but even my partner was getting stressed about this and he's healthy!!) … finally drove all the way home… went to the grocery shop… got home and then as soon as I unloaded the groceries and was about to put dinner on I couldn't do it! I was literally a dead man walking! I had to sit down and could barely get up again!! It felt like I'd just run a marathon but without the sweat!!

It's a really strange thing when your body just decides to stop working. I would often get it in small doses when I was still working, but nothing to this extent, and I wasn't even working or doing anything active yesterday!

When your busy at work or doing anything during the day your body is just constantly alert, ready to take action when required, kind of like your body is being drip fed small amounts of adrenalin all day and I suppose this is where the adrenal fatigue is probably coming into play. As adrenalin is a natural stimulant created by the adrenal gland and due to the adrenal suppression caused by over use of topical steroids, it probably got to the point yesterday when I felt like I could relax enough and my adrenal gland was like 'ok thats it, I've given you all I got, your home safe now just go to bed' ---> this is all guess work mind you, but it makes perfect sense in regards to how I felt yesterday.

I ended up jumping into bed about 8pm last night and went straight to sleep which was nice but because I hadn't taken an antihistamine (I try to only take them a couple times a week) I woke up at 11pm and then was back to my routine of constantly waking up during the night. So I'm still feeling really worn out today, but I'm going to knock myself out tonight so hopefully I will manage a 6/7 hour sleep.

Skin wise I had a really good day on Sunday! My face skin felt so smooth! I'd say about 80% of the flakes had fallen off over night and I could run my fingers over my cheeks and they felt SMOOTH! Still inflamed though… like when I did the pinch test the skin on my cheeks still felt thick as opposed to the not inflamed skin just below my eyes and I still had red patches here and there. But it was nice to just not look in the mirror and pretend my skin was normal again.

On the good skin topic, I haven't talked much about the lower half of my skin… and thats because theres not really all that much to talk about. Apart from still getting itchy every where, most of my body except for my arms neck, shoulders and face are pretty much blemish free. Still dry and I get the odd nicks on my ankles and behind my knees now and then, and sometimes red or dry spots on my tummy but its so minimal… its probably actually better than when I was still using steroids!! WHAT!? I so badly wish I had taken photos of before I stopped moisturising.. because in the 4 months BEFORE stopping steroids and AFTER stopping moisturiser I don't think I used much, if any steroids on my legs, tummy, back area.

Im going to try and see if I can dig up some photos of me the last time I was withdrawing for my next post (have a feeling there won't be any though). God that was hell on earth and I'm so glad it's not like that this time… I actually have a pretty gruesome memory of being SOOO itchy I would use the lid off my moisturiser to literally dig my skin off, I just wanted to scratch it down to the bone. It actually makes me feel sick remembering that.

Anyway… as they say…

Valuable Life Lessons

Since moving home from Australia, my mum has taught me a valuable life lesson.

When I was growing up in New Zealand all I saw were the grey clouds, the rain, the endless struggle to make ends-meet, the people who bummed around all day and seemed to do nothing except cause trouble, the annoying grass that endlessly needed mowing and the millions of weeds that constantly needed weeding.

To be honest I didn't want to come back to NZ. I was happy in Perth, where all the pretty things were so easy to see. Like the never ending blue sky. And the orange twilight that lasted for ages after the sun had set. The big red looking moon that rose up over the red sandy desert. The pay check every week. The clean beach that stretched for miles and miles that would one day be jam packed with kite surfers as far as the eye could see and the next be so calm there was barely a wave breaking. The new clothes and concerts and all sorts of other exciting things. The warm evenings where all you needed was a pretty dress, and some good company. I'm going to cherish these memories forever.

But what mum has taught me since I've been back is that beauty is all around us, wherever you are, even when you can't see it. You just need to take the time to look a little harder and look outside the tunnel vision of everyday life.

She's taught me to appreciate the beauty of a single flower that's got pink petals with purple on the tips. And the deep burgundy of the leaves on a tree. She's taught me how to notice a soft cool breeze and warm autumn sun on your face after a brisk walk. And a whispy cloud that's pale orange as the sunsets over misty hills. She's taught me to listen harder to hear the birds singing. And to see the little rabbits hiding in the grass thinking you can't see them... She sees so much more here than I'd ever bothered to notice before and I think that even tho you have to look a little harder.. It makes these things that much more special. I love that I've been able to take the time to see these things with her and she always points these pretty things out to me when I least expect it. I hope one day I'm as good at appreciating the little things as she is.

Moving home has also made me appreciate what my family and friends mean to me.. They support me 100% even tho most of the time I'm not sure what I'm doing with my life.

It has also made me appreciate my partner so much more. The fact that he believes in me and is proud of me and is willing to support me in this. I mean it's not just financially... At this point I feel I'm probably stable enough to go back to work on a part time basis... But he is supporting me to NOT go back to work but instead follow my dream of starting my own business which is something I've always wanted to do but just have never had, or made, the 'time' to start. He's taught me the value of just living and going with the flow rather than taking every opportunity just because you might not get another, or planning everything every step of the way. He's shown me that things work out no matter what.. Planning or no planning good things will eventually happen and at least with no plans you don't have the disappointments that go hand in hand when things eventually don't go to plan.

This whole thing has been a massive learning curve for me. Before I found out about TSA I'd planned my life out how I thought was pretty much perfect.. We were going to save up this year to do a 6 week trip over to North and South America, visit Rio de Janeiro, walk the Incan trail at Machu Picchu in Peru, spend a crazy few nights in Vegas, catch some sun and surf in Miami and do a bit of shopping in Dubai on the way back to Perth.. Save for another year or so.. Move back to NZ and buy our 2nd house.. Start my business and then have a family... That's what my 5 year plan was...

My new 5 year plan is? ..... What ever happens.. Happens.

I'm no photographer, but here's a couple of little things that I've found to be a little bit beautiful...

5 WEEKS | 2,000 views | The other supplements

Im sorry to say I have been a bit preoccupied this last week so was unable to do my mid-week post on how the other supplements are going. I will get to that shortly but first...

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Skin update...

Due to a bit of increased stress lately I'm fairly sure that I had my first dip/mini flare/increase in itchiness thing over the weekend. My face has been slightly redder, patchier and flakier over the last 3/4 days, the skin on my arms seemed to get thinner and I scratched up my arms a wee bit (which are actually healing up nicely today), rubbed some skin patches off my hands, jawline and chin, had quite a bit of oozy stuff from where I'd scratched and rubbed. I also had my first experience with the dreaded zingers also known as nerve pain.

I do get quite a lot of tingly sensations everywhere but I had never had the nerve pain before. It was Saturday night just after I'd given my arms a big scratch and jumped into bed to stop myself doing any more damage... was just lying there and ZAP!! Felt as though some one had just given me a strong pinch with some tweezers right in the sensitive part of my inner arm... It kept randomly zapping for about another 30 mins and then I must of fallen asleep.

I haven't had anymore zingers or ooze since then and my arms are healing nicely today so I think I can safely say my skin is holding steady again for the moment.

Pictures for today...

So much better today! Amazing how the skin heals so quickly sometimes!

Annoyed I didn't get pics of when I'd just done it though. 

Look at those lovely old lady hands.

Left and Right 

How attractive are those puffy cheeks!!!

Looking at these pics I know Im no where near as bad as I could be at the moment and Im so thankful for that.... can't wait to stop shedding like a mofo though.

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2,000 views...

WOAH is all I can say haha!! I'm honoured that anyone would even want to read my ramblings!!

When I first started this blog it was mainly going to be a way for me to keep track of my progress and write down exactly what it is that I'm going through and experiencing so my family and friends can have an insight into the inner workings of my brain haha.

I really hope that I have provided some useful information or even just some interesting reading :)


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Ok now on to the supplements...

NAC
Brand I’m taking - Solgar, NAC, 600 mg, 120 Veggie Caps

• NAC (N-acetylcysteine) helps to elevate glutathione.

MSM

Brand I'm taking - Source Naturals, MSM Powder, 35 oz (1000 g)

• MSM (methylsulfonylmethane)

TMG
Brand I'm taking - Now Foods, TMG, 1,000 mg, 100 Tablets

• TMG (trimethylglycine)

Glutathione 

Brand I'm taking - Jarrow Formulas, Glutathione Reduced , 500 mg, 60 Capsules

Oh my gosh there is so much opposing information about this on the internet!

For example...

• About 80 percent of all oral glutathione is absorbed intact, and that the blood levels remain elevated for about three hours.

and then...

• Oral glutathione, L-Glutathione, and reduced glutathione are all the same thing. They are all glutathione pills. All are ineffective in raising glutathione levels.

OH MY GOSH it's soooo confusing!! Being not a medical or scientific person this supplement is one bloody hard supp to get my head around.

Lesson #99: Research supplements before you buy them!! I am just going to come to the conclusion that this form of glutathione is no where near as effective as the IV injections and that there is probably no need for me to be taking these.

Day 1 - now (Day 7 of the Active B's)

• NAC - Started with recommended dosage 1 capsule - 600mg
• MSM - Started with 5grams (1 teaspoon) once a day in water
• TMG - Started with recommended dosage 1 capsule - 1000mg
• Glutathione - Started with recommended dosage 1capsule - 500mg

One of the main reasons that it has taken me so long to write about the rest of my supps is that I thought I may have possibly been over-methylating... 

I had been on the rest of the supplements for just under a week or so and I went into town with mum and ended up having a pretty big panic attack and ended up having to go back and wait in the car. Now Im not to sure if this panic attack was the result of over-methylation or just due to the fact that I hadn't had much other human contact in the previous few weeks, I was aware that I wasn't looking to normal, it was school holidays and town was packed. 

So since then I have had a couple of other panic attacks... nothing crazy and they wear off in a couple of minutes, I've also noticed that I have quite intense mood swings that I have trouble controlling at the moment... I usually get REALLY bad mood swings with PMS but that only lasts a couple days. But these other mood swings are really bizarre... just kind of come up out of the blue.

So anyway, I decided to stick on those recommended dosages without raising or lowering them just to see what would happen and it seems like I'm still having the odd panic attack and the odd mood swing so I have decided that from here on out I am going to ditch the glutathione this week and see if anything happens. 

Next week I will increase the MSM to 5g twice a day as I have taken this in the past at quite high quantities and didn't see any side effects. Then after that I will see how things are going.

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PS. I just remembered to mention that I ran out of my B6 about 5/6 days ago so have only been on the L-5-MTHF and the Active B12 for the last week... possible reason for the mini flare thing? So many unanswered questions...

PPS. All of my supplements I had to get off iHerb.com as Amazon did not ship most of the required supps to New Zealand for custom reasons. I was very impressed with their postage as they actually arrived about 4/5 days from the states after I ordered them. 

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Wheuu... long post today... dinner time.

1 MONTH down!!

Well, I'm stoked that I've made it to one whole month! That much closer to being normalish!

To report on life this week, I have noticed that I have become sensitive to heaps more foods than usual… The allergies I know I have food wise are eggs and nuts mainly which I know to completely avoid, but over the last month there have been random times when I have prepared meals that are normally harmless to me, such as steak and veg for example, and I've had random reactions, such as swollen lips, itchy throat or sore tummy. Then I'll have the left overs of the same meal the next day (just to see if I react again) and I'll be fine! Its very bizarre.

I've got to also report back on the other supplements that I've added to the 3 B's but I'll do that in the next post I think. But so far so good… no change as far as I can tell.

Photo wise, I have not actually taken any photos this week as I think my skin is still pretty much exactly how it was last week and it'l be like basically looking at the same photos… except I've noticed looking back at the pics that I have uploaded… I really need to get a new camera!!! It looks like most of the pics are slightly blurred a little and I'm a little disappointed I didn't get EXACT photographic evidence of my first couple of weeks. Oh well onwards and upwards!!!

Life is getting interesting at the moment and most times I'm feeling positive that everything is going to be ok but in the back of my mind is always the thought that my first big flare is just around the corner.