This blog is going to mainly be for me to refer back to when its all over I suppose, to keep me occupied when I need something to occupy me, to record my progress, for random notes and positive thoughts and for anyone else out there who may find something useful on here.
I first realised that I might be addicted to topical steroids about 2 months or so ago. I have been using Elidel on my face every day for as long as I can remember and I decided that 'Hay! Surly I wont need to use this stuff anymore.. my skins going really well' I just started thinking that it was getting a bit pointless using it every day.
So I stopped... 7 days later my face was the size of a soccer ball and I had to use a small dose of Elecon cream twice to settle it down. I then thought to myself 'why the hell did that happen!!?' I hadn't done anything out of the ordinary. I then googled topical steroid addiction. I found various blogs on the topic and realised that yup, this was probably me.
I know I mentioned earlier that I figured this out 2 months ago... so some might say... why didnt you just stop then and get on with it. For those that know me, I don't handle my skin problems well. If i get itchy I turn into a crazy stressed out tearful person that nobody really wants to be around.
So even this discovery freaked me out to the max and I've had a couple of breakdowns just thinking about what I might have to face, it has also made me a lot more aware of how much steroids I'm applying and how often, which is probably a good thing. I'm the type of person who has to be super organised to make to best of every experience and I know from what I have read from others blogs who are in the middle of TSW that its not fun... its been described by many as the worst experience/challenge that they have ever experienced. So I just want to prepare myself as best I can mentally, physically and financially. So right now I am saving up to take 6 months off work next year to go through the worst part of the withdrawal with as little pressure and stress on me as possible.
Its coming into the summer months in Perth soon and I know for a fact that I use far less steroids in the summer. So although I am prolonging the inevitable and most people would say theres no better time than the present, I just don't feel ready yet to live my life in the bath tub.
I just got my medical records in the post the other day because although it wont change anything now, I'm super interested to know exactly how much TS I have used and for how long.
I will go over my records with a fine tooth comb and report back, but for now.....